At home, I felt like my maternity leave flew by. When I came into my office yesterday, it felt like I had been gone forever. I even had trouble remembering my ID # to enter into the keypad for access to my floor, and my voice mail code. All that stuff is stored in your short-term memory I guess, and mine really wanted to forget it.
The work day was fairly typical. I didn’t call home to check up on the Fry (DH is staying home this week with him, part of his mandatory unpaid days at his job due to cutbacks) but instead let DH update me. He called mid-morning to let me know how things were going and sent another update via email. I called when out at lunch and things seemed to be going ok so I left them alone.
I haven’t worked in so long I didn’t think to wear comfortable shoes and BRING my dressy work shoes, and instead wore the dress shoes. The 3 block walk on concrete to my office from the parking lot was BAD, and my feet were killing me most of the day. I also priced monthly parking in the lot I had parked in, which is the same price as the other lots around it – even with the upcoming fare increase in public transportation, it’s still going to be about $20 cheaper a month for me to take the train than to drive, and that’s straight parking, not counting gas, etc. so I will go back to the train starting in September. I sure hope I don’t have to get to my fry anytime quickly, but there are always cabs at my building.
I couldn’t wait to get home and tried to drive as carefully as I could but I was undoubtedly speeding. When I came in, DH was dancing and singing while holding the Fry to distract him from being hungry. He looked tired and indifferent about seeing me. However, a few minutes after he started to eat, he seemed to realize I had been gone and started eating in a very painful manner and was very fussy the entire night. He wouldn’t go down for his 6pm nap and was up and down all night long. I’d rock him to sleep and put him down and then he’d wake up screaming. Missed his Mommy all day and wasn’t going to let her out of his sight again, I think. I felt so bad, so guilty.
DH looked exhausted but cooked us some din and once we FINALLY got the Fry down we were able to finish up a movie that took us 3 nights to watch (Gran Torino – excellent).
The Fry woke up again at 3:30, he is really having trouble letting go of that feeding time. DH got him back down but he woke up again at 4:30 and was clearly angry and hungry and not giving up so I got up, 2nd day in a row, at 4:30 and fed him. We dozed on the couch afterwards for maybe a half an hour before I had to put him down and get ready for work. He was looking at me in his crib while I was getting my clothes on (my closet is in his room) and it just looked like he was thinking, “ok mom, finish that now so you can pick me up.” It was awful. I bet he will be even fussier tonight than he was last night.
How will I ever leave him in the evenings to get back to the gym? Oy.