The fry is adjusting to his new schedule of 3 days with Grandma and 2 days at the home daycare lady’s house.He is actually sleeping better now than he has in awhile. The last two nights, he has effectively slept through the night. Of course his night starts at 8pm but he has been having a few periods of quiet wakefulness without too much fussing and then getting himself back to sleep, really waking up around 4 to eat. We doze together on the couch after he eats, until 5 or 5:30 and I hope that closeness is doing him some good – it sure does me good. He has FINALLY found his thumb after several weeks of sucking on his arm, his whole fist, etc and it really does seem to soothe him. I’m so glad now that he never wanted a pacifier and that we never pushed it, he would be dependent on it now and we’d have to wean him off of it, as I hear some other May mommies struggling with this I’m glad I’m not going through it. Pacifiers fall out, the thumb is always there. 🙂
I am getting up more than the Fry at this point, or DH. I keep checking on him to see if he’s ok, to wonder why he hasn’t wanted to eat, etc. I am still parched in the middle of the night so I usually down a big glass of juice. My boobs still think he wants to eat in the night so by the time he eats at 4, they’re rarin’ to go so I usually bottle some of it up after he’s done and I’ve put him back down to get ready for the work day. I have to go to bed at like 9 these days; the idea of the weeknight nap just never materialized, there is too much to do. So little time with the Fry before he goes to sleep and then there’s laundry or cleaning the kitchen or ironing, repacking diaper bags, and when I can work it in, at least a little weight lifting and stretching. I’m TRYING to get back to the gym but it’s just so hard. I don’t want to go at 8 at night if I can avoid it as I know I’ll have trouble getting to sleep. But if he keeps up this schedule of not waking til 4, I might be able to make it work if I can quit waking up myself throughout the night.
Some nights I feel like he doesn’t know who I am when I pick him up. He smiles at me, but he smiles at everyone so it doesn’t mean anything. And we’re sort of disconnected feeling most of the night. I don’t know what activities he did during the day so I don’t know if I should encourage him to do some tummy time, or practice grabbing at things overhead or if we should just sit outside and look at the woods or if I should read to him or what. It just sucks. So much of his day is without me, he is growing and learning stuff and I’m not there for it, it’s just awful. I try to convince myself that it’s good for him, that he’ll be more socialized than if he had stayed home with just me all this time since he will be exposed to different people, different homes, different circumstances, and it probably WILL be good for him, but it’s certainly not good for me right now. To top it off, things are so hectic and bad at work I can’t even see straight.