Fall is coming

Now that Labor Day is behind us, fall is just around the corner.Fall is my most schizophrenic season.  I absolutely love so many things about it – the breathtaking sight of the changing trees on a drive, the beginning of soup and stew-making season, apple cider and weather that’s comfortable for light jackets and sweaters.  But on the other hand I just see everything I love dying.  Summer is my favorite time of year.  It can never be hot enough for me, never sunny enough, and this particular summer I didn’t really get any sun as I was mostly cave-dwelling here in our dark, dank apartment hanging out with the Fry.  While I wouldn’t trade that time for anything, and there will be plenty of other summers to enjoy, it’s sad to me to see nature winding down, the leaves drying and dropping off, the light changing, the days and nights getting shorter.  It just means the beginning of time where I won’t be able to stand being outside, where I’ll always be freezing cold inside, and where my feet won’t be really warm again for another 8 or 9 months.

The Fry has a cold.  We both had a touch of a sore throat and stuffiness and he has it too now.  It panics him when he is stuffy as he thinks he can’t breathe and he wakes up shrieking, poor little thing. So his sleep is disturbed and he’s been nursing more and for longer periods of time.  He also seems to have some tummy problems the last couple of days. I don’t know whether or not to attribute them to the popcorn and Mr. Pibb I had at the movies over the weekend or not – he seems to always have an upset tummy after I eat popcorn, and the food coloring in the pop (which I never drink unless I’m at the movies) turned his poo a little darker colored and then I felt guilty for adding to his misery.

To top things off, I had to wash my tote bag for work.  It sat for 3 months unused with a lot of little pieces of gum in nooks and crannies that sweated through their cheap, thin paper wrappers and permeated my tote with stickiness. So I emptied it (no easy feat), turned it inside out and washed it, and it’s all better. But dumbass me didn’t THINK about the gum I would miss, and gum got all over his favorite blanket and I cannot get it off. It was just a $2 blanket I got at a secondhand sale but it has a little moon and stars on it and he really likes it, it’s his tummy time blanket and I RUINED IT!*dies from bad mommy guilt and shame*

Also, we put a bid in on a house yesterday, and I couldn’t sleep last night for thinking about it.  The Fry was also up every few hours to cry or nurse or both so it wasn’t a very restful night.  We have literally looked in over 100 homes and have over 500 rejected in our online portal.  Our real estate agent is a saint, truly.  This is only the 2nd house we’ve put an offer on and the first one we really didn’t have a prayer of getting.  This one, we have about a 50% shot but I think we won’t be able to meet the price the seller really wants, which in many ways is fine with me. As much as I really, really want more space, my own things, my own kitchen and yard, etc., I am terrified of not being able to afford it, of defaulting on the loan and having to move into some dump with the Fry that will accept people with bad credit. Where we’ll all become crackheads and get shot.  So yeah, not a restful night.

I’m so glad it’s only a 4 day work week.  I miss that Fry so much during the day I couldn’t even eat dinner and leave him in his chair tonight, I ate with one hand and held him with the other, kissing him repeatedly throughout dinner, to which he replied, “AH-GOO!”


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