Do a lot of ups and downs average out? And the nature of friendship.

Tonight I get to play with theater people. I may be asked to read, I may not, but I get to watch and be around theater happening, which makes me happy. I get to participate in theater on Saturday, which also makes me very happy. This is the third time reading through this work in progress that a friend of mine has written, and it is always enjoyable being part of the process like this. The small nay to balance the yay is that the last time we read this play, many months ago, the cast included a young man who has since taken his own life. Oh, the transitory nature of life. It makes me sad. We shall toast him, I think.

Someone got in touch with me a few days ago who dropped out of my life completely a few years ago. Our reconnection has made me think about how many others have dropped out over the years. Why do people not stay in touch? I decided some time ago that I would not chase friends – I think I’m a pretty good friend, and I reach out and invite people to do things and such, but I’m not going to chase people down and beg them to spend time with me. Life is too short. The mix of friends is therefore ever-changing, as I find that many people are careless about friendships, putting them on the back burner for a number of reasons they find more important than your friendship until someday, you’re not sure if the person is your friend any longer, and if you reach out (again), it might be weird.

I make new friends pretty frequently too, which is nice. Theater people are all in one family and so when you meet new theater people, they are like old theater people instantly. There’s that quick game of “Do you know…?” and “Weren’t you in…” which can be funny. I recently found out that someone didn’t know that I was the same person as the girl who used to go by a different (maiden) name, and met in person someone I’ve kind of “known” for a long time, though this was our first official in-person meeting.

I’ve also reconnected with a lot of old friends over the past year as well (HS and college), which has (mostly) been very nice.

But if I needed a ride to the doctor today or was stuck in the hospital and hoping someone would come and visit me, I can venture a guess as to the few people who would show up. I guess those are what you call the “close friends” and I will work harder to keep them close, and to expand that circle further, as I think close friends are the ones that make your soul happy.

Thanks for reading, friend.

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One thought on “Do a lot of ups and downs average out? And the nature of friendship.

  1. For a long time when I was young I only had “close friends.” I was very bad at friendly acquaintances and situational friends. I have since become much better at the latter two, which has enriched my life, but having children and busy grown up life stuff makes me much worse at close friends. Not that I don’t love the people who were my close friends in the past. I just have to trust that they are close enough to be there even after hiatus.

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