Mom! Mom! Mom!

I now know why my Mom used to respond with, “HEAR IT IN MY SLEEP, CHRIST!” whenever I’d start in with “Mom! Mom!” If I had a dollar for every time each day my kid demands my attention by shouting, “Mom! Mom! Mom!” I could go to every Dinner in the Dark all year round and have money leftover to give to the homeless.

I know that this is a learning phase. I know that the curiosity and interest is awesome and important. But the running commentary on EVERYTHING, the endless, endless questions in response to every explanation, it’s exhausting.

D: Mom! Mom! Mom! Red means stop, the red light means stop. Right? Red is stop.

Me: That’s right, son. That’s why we stopped.

D: Why? Why is red stop?

Me, in an attempt to distract: And green means go.

D: Green means go. And red means stop. And yellow means slow down.

Me: Right.

D: Mom, why does it mean slow down?

Me: Because, you have to exercise caution, the light is going to change.

D: Why is the light going to change?

Me: So the cars going the other direction can go through the intersection.

D: Why? Why can they not go through before?

Me: Because the light is red on their side. Red means stop. If everyone had green at the same time, they would smash into each other.

D: Mom, Mom, Mom, look! Like this, look! ***SMASH!*** (claps his hands together) Like that, right?

Me: Right.

D: And then EVERYONE WOULD DIE. TOMORROW IS THE DAY WE WILL ALL DIE.

(this is a line from Ice Age, a movie I wish I NEVER WOULD HAVE LET HIM WATCH if I knew it was in there)

Me: D, that’s not a nice thing to go around saying, we’ve talked about that.

D: Why! Why is it not nice?

Me: *sigh*

And they wonder why Moms drink so much.

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