A glimpse of the baby, and busy

I freely admit I am a Fanilow. I know that despite the millions of other Fanilows, most of my FB friends are not in the group. Still, I encourage you to take two minutes and listen to this song, as it sets the tone of today’s post. I’ll wait.

Updated video link here

My son is usually very energetic in the morning once he wakes up out of his crabby, early morning stuff. Ok, he’s not just energetic in the morning, but all the time. This morning he didn’t really come out of it. He was contemplative and quiet. We listened to a nice Stevie Wonder song on the way to school (which also sets the tone today, so I’ve linked in case you really can’t bring yourself to listen to Manilow) and by the time it was over, we were there. I helped him out of the car, got his lunch and nap mat and realized how instinctively I reach my open hand out without even looking and he reaches up and takes it, whenever we walk anywhere. He let me hold his hand while we went for a slow, quiet walk last night around the lake, where we talked about goose poop vs. duck poop and how the weeping willow is ahead of the other trees in terms of leaves and buds. When we got into the foyer at school, where we usually have to wait a few minutes until they open the doors at 7 on the dot each morning, he climbed into my lap, which is a rarer and rarer occasion these days, and I just sat holding him, swaying back and forth. After a minute or so he turned to face me and I cuddled him close and continued to rock him, the opposite of how our mornings usually go, and marveled to myself at how big this boy had become. Where did my baby go? And yet here was the baby, in my arms, still with his thumb in his mouth and in need of my love and cuddling. I felt lucky and smiled and relaxed. He insisted I carry him in, which is rarer still, and not easy given his size now, even though he is a slight boy (31 pounds), and wanted extra long hugs and kisses before I left today. I told him we’d have a relaxing night and maybe watch TV tonight, and suggested he think about what we could watch. He suggested the “dark” Cars (Cars 2, which takes place in a very urban Japanese city with a lot of buildings and skyscrapers, hence the “dark”). I cried once I was out of sight, which is also thankfully rare these days as he is usually so happy to be at school he forgets about me as soon as he waves goodbye and races back to his breakfast table. Almost four years in to this parenting thing and I still feel guilty about leaving him every day. Does that ever go away?

This weekend was a busy one. They become increasingly busy as the weather gets better, which is how I prefer it. A brief walk in the Metroparks, our first, very muddy cookout down the end of the complex of buildings we are in, which is where the closest grill is located. Piri piri chicken and my son munching happily on “sparagus” spears and asking for more. Finding ramps and wild garlic in the woods behind our building and hard digging and cutting to harvest the former. Cleaning up a lot of mud. A shitload of cooking, and I am set for the week as far as food.


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