coming up for air

Today is my son’s first day of “Pre-K.” A year from now, he’ll be going to a different building with different kids and a different routine than he has ever known. And I will be letting go of the control and safety that the cocoon of his preschool has given me. Another step in the hardest but most rewarding job, ever. For now, I treasure the baby that I saw over the last three days, who sucked his thumb in the car on the way to Great Wolf Lodge, who was too afraid to frolic in anything but the smallest and easiest water play areas at the water park. I finally got him out of the baby pool and convinced him to run through some of the waterfalls at the lower level of the fort with me, but I had to literally drag him through the first time, pulling him along while he ran beside me, screaming. But I had to do it; the next 40 times we ran through, he was screaming, but it was with joy and thrill. But he wouldn’t let go of my hand, not for a second. I won’t make him; he will voluntarily drop it soon enough.

I love how he expresses so much joy at the simplest things; his dramatic collapse when we entered the lodge and he saw how awesome it was, his extreme delight in enjoying a small cup of ice cream in the lobby while he danced to what sounded like a soundtrack of bad wedding music, his enthusiasm at “driving” the cars in the arcade – no money necessary, he just wants to turn the wheel and make car noises. And his quiet fascination and awe as we sat on the balcony each day discussing what we saw – trees, changing sky, sleeping birds in our alcove, complex spiderwebs, and whether boy spiders spin webs or not (I won that one – see, I know a *little* science). As we watched people come in and out of the parking lot, he made up stories about what they were doing, where they were going, where they had been.

We came home early yesterday; he had had enough of the water park. I was concerned he would be upset later in the day that we had left so early, but not once did he whine about it – he was right; he was done, and he knew it. We spent most of yesterday unpacking and doing laundry and trying to get things ready for the week like we would usually do on a Sunday. I pulled some meat out of the freezer so we’d have something to eat, and we’re going to squeak by on what we have for produce until CSA pickup on Friday.

Rehearsals started last night for Pandemonium, which is next Saturday OMG. In case you are wondering, nun’s habits ARE really hot, even when they’re made out of polyester. I have a brief respite tonight, wherein I hope to make myself return to the gym even though I am SO SORE, then more rehearsal tomorrow. I can’t even remember what’s going on Friday at this point, and Saturday the boy and I are going to Grandma’s for an overnight. And then something for Labor Day, but I don’t know what, because I am too busy to think.


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