At my son’s preschool, you’re not allowed to bring in toys. Because if everyone did, anarchy, right? There are a BILLION toys at school already and there’s zero reason to bring shit in. Some people let their kids bring in toys anyway, because some people in life don’t follow the rules. I’ve always been steadfast about us following that rule, unless it’s show and tell day or whatever, but D still asks sometimes if he can bring this thing or that thing to school. Because this is what they do, they keep testing to see if we’re still going to make them eat the dinner that’s served or maybe they can whine you into fixing something else, even if the answer is no, no, a thousand times no.
Sometimes, D will bring an extra shirt to school, usually at my direction. Like if he insists on wearing short sleeves to school when it’s -1 out, I can convince him to take another shirt along, just in case he gets cold, which is now the “just in case” shirt. Sometimes when he can’t decide between shirts, he’ll bring another one “just in case,” which is fine, because you have to give them a little choice, and who knows, he might get a nosebleed like he did a couple of weeks ago and need to change (though we have an entire bag of “just in case” clothes at school, as per school directive). This morning he was holding up a pair of his tiny blue jeans by the waistband, and he carried them to the front door and just stood there holding them. We were both fully dressed and I had my coat on and was waiting for him to put his on, he was wearing little khakis and a Spider man T. Something was weird. Parents have a sense about these things, or maybe I do because I have a larcenous heart. I said, “What are you doing with those jeans? Put your coat on, it’s time to go. Or are you changing into the jeans or what?” He says, “No, Mom, they’re my ‘just in case’ pants.” I say why do you need just in case pants? “Well, you know, what if I pee during nap or something?” which hasn’t happened in a while, but is technically still feasible, so I said oh, ok fine, now put on your coat. “Mom,” he says, “Can you hold these pants for me while I put on my coat?” Sure, so he hands me the pants, still holding them straight up and down and starts putting his coat on. Of course I immediately sense there’s something in the pants, and look inside them and he’s stuck a Spidey sticker book in there! HE IS SO MY KID, it’s SCARY. I pull the book out and just looked at him and said, “Really? Your game is going to have to get a lot better than that if you want to sneak stuff by me, kid.” He got all whiny and upset that I wouldn’t let him bring the sticker book, because he really wants to show it to Evan, and Austin brings toys to school every day (THANKS, AUSTIN’S DAD) and I said look, we can compromise. You can wear two stickers to school, one on each arm, but you can’t bring the book, and even if I had somehow had a weak moment to say that you *could* bring something to school, you SURE can’t bring something you try to SNEAK BY ME, because don’t even bother. I’m onto you, ALWAYS.
His personality amazes me, it’s so strong. I feel bad for my Mom sometimes when I think about how much I was like this when I was a kid, but I got away with a lot more, because she trusted me or because I was more duplicitous, who knows. When he had said nosebleed last week, after they finally got it stopped he INSISTED repeatedly to the teacher that she needed to call me at work, because I would come down and take him…TO A RESTAURANT. Not to the doctor or a hospital or whatever, but he wanted to parlay this into a treat! The teacher found this very funny and finally explained that I was at work, and she doubted I would be able to just pick up and leave to come down and take him to a restaurant. “CALL HER BOSS!” he demanded, “GO TO THE PHONE AND CALL HER BOSS AND TELL HER TO LET MY MOM GO SO SHE CAN TAKE ME TO A RESTAURANT.” I had to admire his chutzpah. But oh, what am I in for with this one.