What is “age-appropriate” for a Mom?

One of my FB friends posted recently about women older than those in their teens or twenties wearing clothing from the Victoria’s Secret “PINK” line. Since these clothes are often worn by younger women, what does it say when older women wear those clothes? They are trying to hang on to their youth? Or do they just think the clothes look good? Or is it a combination of both? And why is trying to hang on to your youth tinged with negative connotation? These are things I have been thinking about. I don’t blame people for thinking the way they do, but I wish there wasn’t so much negative judgment by women against other women. Though I do not wear sweat pants in public unless I am going to the gym, and don’t have any pants that say anything on the ass, be it “Juicy” or “Pink” or “Over 40” or anything else, I’m not going to promise I won’t buy some and wear them if I like them and think they look ok. A girl I work with, who is many years younger than I am, has a “Pink” sweatshirt she wears occasionally and I was just thinking last week how it’s cute and maybe I should look into those clothes. But now I think, “oh, that might not be age-appropriate.” I am, after all, MIDDLE AGED, 45 and not afraid to say so.

I am an older Mom than a lot of other Moms who will be taking their kids to kindergarten next week. I’m not trying to look young so much as FEEL young. It isn’t really because of vanity, it’s because I need to continue to feel young and strong and vibrant, as I have a young, very active boy to take care of. I took my son out for an HOUR last night to try to work with him on learning to ride a bike. I had a choice to make after I had gotten him back home and down for bed. Eat dinner and sit around and watch TV, which was very appealing, or take advantage of the waning light and go out for a walk. I did the latter, and ended up walking much further than I planned – four miles, simply because I went a different route than usual and it took longer than I expected. My left foot was really hurting by the time I got home, as I have abused my feet more than usual the past few days, with a four-mile run on Saturday, a mile jog with my son on Sunday, and then the walk last night. There’s less padding on the bottom of your feet as you age, so you feel these things more acutely. But I have to press on. I have to. I want to and my son needs me to.

I am wearing leggings today. Probably, someone will see me and think, “wow, she is too old/fat to be wearing those.” I don’t really care. I wore a different pair of leggings yesterday, and unexpectedly had to go out to pick up some lunch. A guy was staring at me so obviously when I was walking into the lunch place, he actually stopped and pretended to look at his phone so he could get a good look as I walked by. I didn’t mind this. I knew what he was doing. He was trying to be subtle about it behind his sunglasses, and he didn’t make any gross gestures or say something stupid like commanding me to smile, or worse.

I work really hard for the body I have. It’s not the body I had 10 years ago, and certainly isn’t the body I had 20 years ago, and it probably never will be again. But, a few nights ago, I lifted with the barbell my son pointed out was gathering dust only a few months prior. I ran a 5K this summer, and hope to run another one next month. I’m not winning any medals but I am trying to work what I’ve got and rock it out.

Nobody tells Keith Richards or Steven Tyler what they wear isn’t “age-appropriate,” I bet. I’m still a rockandrollmama, and if you don’t like the way I look or what I’m wearing, by all means, look elsewhere.


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