First day, boom

As best I can tell, things went very well yesterday for D’s first day at kindergarten. He told me at dinner last night that he didn’t even cry, and I told him I did, ha. My little negotiator, on the way there yesterday, says to me, “So Mom, since it’s my first day of kindergarten, that’s special, right?” Right. “So maybe we should go get donuts for breakfast.” This kid, he slays me, truly.

I consider it a feat of parental achievement that I’ve managed to keep my son napping all this time, every day with very few exceptions, through age 5.5. But now it’s time to drop that nap since there’s no napping at elementary. I knew he’d be super cranky last night and he was, but also had a weird, over-the-top energy. I tried to get him to go for a run with me and almost convinced him, but he wanted to stay home and play, understandably. Which is just as well as my knees are killing me and I’m supposed to run a 5K in just a few weeks. We played with Matchbox cars instead, and I didn’t make him do any “homework” from his various homework books I have at home, I just let him do what he wanted.

At some point in the evening, he said, “Mom, guess what I had! Flaming Hot Cheetos!” How did you get those, I ask, even though I already know the answer and knew this was coming. He motioned for me to bend down so he could whisper – he whispers when he has done something he knows he isn’t supposed to do (but at least he tells me). “Me and another kid were sharing snacks at lunch.” I reminded him that, just like at his preschool, he should not share or trade food, but I didn’t make a huge deal about it. I know this stuff is coming – again, my sister, who warned me about all of this, paving the way as she’s always done.

Today’s drop-off was much less fraught with tension than yesterday’s, and though he was still clingy when I left, he was more jokey about it and let me tickle him back into the room, like I used to do at preschool.

In this modern world, the teacher has an app for behavior monitoring that she updates from the smartboard or her phone during the day, so the kid gets thumbs up when they do things like follow directions or help other people. Yes, I am obsessively checking the app. At least I know he’s in the room. I had this fear yesterday of him going the wrong way and curling up somewhere and crying. Or some nutcase with a gun. And and and. Jesus this parenting thing is hard. I remember when I first had him, my old boss told me I would never be the same again, because even when you aren’t together, it’s like a little piece of your heart is walking around doing stuff somewhere else, and you are always aware of that, all the time. You’re never just “yourself” again and only yourself. He was sure right.



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