I got so much done this weekend, it was like a week crammed into 48 hours.
Made carnitas in the crock pot, which I will eat all week long, hooray. Picked up a free loveseat from a sweet friend, and found a place for it in the empty hole that has been my living room for the past week. Did a million loads of laundry and reorganized and threw out a bunch of stuff. Went to Goodwill looking for an end table or a lamp, came out with a bunch of fantastic chic pieces of clothing for a new, funky fall wardrobe for less than $14. Which I really needed, as none of my jeans fit anymore, they’re all too big, and I got some cool looking skirts for cold weather as well. I suppose a “cold weather skirt” sounds kind of like an oxymoron, but with heavier material and, as today, paired with patterned tights and tall boots, it feels just right for fall. Cleaned up my Tivo, and found Looney Tunes and Kung Fu Panda are back on, so set up to record those for my son, who I will see Thursday. Which feels as far away next summer right about now; in other words, really, really far. Slog. Through. Catch lifelines. Refocus. Write.
I did not work out, but I think all the cleaning and moving of furniture and reorganizing and up and down the stairs 100 times for the laundry has to count for something. I did invest in a small amount of cold weather running clothes, so I will test those out soon. And as much as I did physically, I was also cleaning house and taking stock mentally. I’m trying to be aware as I move through this stage in my life, and be honest with myself, as honest as I can be so that I don’t hide or run away from what life is presenting and what I’m discovering, even if those discoveries are disappointing or challenging. As chaotic as the weekend was, it was very good in a lot of ways, and also as sad as it was good. Which is also exhausting.
There is still much to be done. I’m trying to find ways around my limitations, like the inability to pick up furniture I need because I don’t have a truck. Or learning there is only so far my arthritis will let me carry the back end of a couch. Or that 2am is about as late as I can stay up anymore. I’m also trying to take care of myself, physically and emotionally. Carnitas. Indulgent TV. A good bottle of wine. And learning. So much learning. Who is there for me, who cares for me and respects me. Who checks in to see if I’m ok. These things are also lessons. I am trying to keep my eyes open, though at times it is hard to see.