Climb Every Mountain

I have a great sense of accomplishment after I get a lot done on the weekends, and yet when Monday comes, I invariably look back and think, “Oh, I didn’t get such-and-such done.” I wonder if I will ever feel like I got everything done. That I didn’t forget four things I really needed at the grocery, that I turned in the form on time to D’s school, that I returned the library books when they were due. I know I spend a lot of time chasing Things That Need Done and less time Enjoying The Things, but I feel better when things are done, when there aren’t as many loose ends. I feel better when I come home and don’t realize I forgot to do the laundry or change the sheets. But there literally are not enough hours in the day, and I don’t have enough energy sometimes to get everything done.

I did get to go to the theater this weekend, though it was a rush trip there and back as the sitter – wonderful though she is – is expensive. I was fortunate enough to be offered a comp ticket to a friend’s performance, which I wholly enjoyed on so many different levels. I love seeing people I know perform and equally love seeing people perform that I don’t know, as it’s like discovering a new, exciting thing that you didn’t know was there before. And seeing people I know in the audience that are part of the theater family, which always makes me feel like I still belong in this family, even though I haven’t done a full-length play since before my son was born. I found some old show posters recently from shows I did years back, and put them on the wall in my apartment. I did those things, and they existed, and should be celebrated. I wish I had more posters from performances.

I did finally get D some winter boots this weekend, which has been pressing on me lately as we are ever-closer to the first snowfall – it will be here the next time I take a minute to look up at the sky, I think. So I got that done. And the whole pumpkin/fall festival thing, I managed to get that done, and before Halloween. I realized I’m going to have to buy a shitload more pie pumpkins if I want to have a lot of puree in the freezer to use throughout the winter for recipes – I roasted eight of those little fuckers last night, four at a time, and meticulously cleaned and scraped out the guts and pureed and froze it, but it took several hours, made a big mess and all I got was about 10 cups of pumpkin. Sometimes being a food purist is a lot of work. I enjoy this type of work, it’s just that the whole going to work and being a parent thing can get in the way sometimes. And, funds being what they are, pie pumpkin purchase will have to wait until next payday.

I also roasted a spaghetti squash and thawed out some homemade sauce I had in the freezer – a freezer which yields less and less as I eat through the pantry. I finally made some dried black beans I had sitting around for almost a whole year – in the crock pot, which is the easiest method ever. I didn’t sit down to dinner last night until it was nearly 9:00 p.m. but it was worth it after all the pumpkin work. I roasted a big sweet potato and topped it with butter, cumin, a mix of a hard, salty cheese and some cheddar and a big cup of the black beans, and some salsa. Honestly it was the best thing I’ve eaten in a week.

I ate way too much this weekend and exercised basically not at all. I took the kid out for a morning walk/run, which he wasn’t really into, and turned my ankle and heard something snap in my foot. This is not a good position to be in when you are alone on a wooded path with your 5 year old, but I managed to walk back to the car and get home and ice it, and it seems to be ok last night – especially after whatever it was that popped out of place popped back into place when I was carrying the big ass pumpkin into the kitchen for cleaning and carving. I rinsed the inside with bleach water before we carved it. I heard that’s supposed to make it last longer before molding, and hopefully will keep the critters out of it, of which I have an endless supply, my apartment immediately bordering a large woods.

I have a giant cabbage I need to tend to as well. I’m pretty sure I have some frozen grass-fed beef in the freezer, I will see about making some deconstructed stuffed cabbage soup tonight if I have the energy.

And tomorrow night is PTA, and Thursday is bingo up at the school, and Friday I am going out with some girlfriends, which I am very excited about. And so it continues.

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