This Wheel’s On Fire

Lots and lots of coffee this morning. More to do, and it feels like four days have passed since Friday afternoon. I busted out of work as quick as I could and raced home to meet the pizza guy, shoveled some pizza into my kid and then out into the rain we went, for his first ever outside trick or treat. He only made it up and down one street before he proclaimed he was too tired to continue and wanted to go home. I was pretty surprised at that, and he didn’t get that much candy, so when we went to get my flu shot yesterday, we bought a couple of big bags that were on sale, so we’d have something to donate to the homeless youth shelter where we take Halloween candy. Hope to get there today, as one of the many things to do. I may actually get to go to the movies again today, which would be lovely. Twice in one year? Amazing!

We met a girlfriend of mine yesterday, and her young daughter, out at Crocker Park to go shop at Trader Joe’s and to have some lunch and fun. We all had a pretty good time and I ate too much at the B-spot, which is almost impossible not to do. We attempted to go to a store to look at clothes, but my son hates shopping and acts like, well, a hyper 5-year-old boy, and so we got out of there as quickly as we could before every single person in the store hated us. He’s great for curbing spending, since he always acts like a monkey on crack when I try to take him shopping. Maybe one day.

Saw the first snow yesterday when we were driving back from Westlake, mixed with rain. I’m ready but I’m not ready. I hate the snow and cold so much, and all I want to do is stay in and hide from it, but I will push myself to get out in it or else I’ll become a sloth fairly quickly. And I signed up to run the Turkey Trot, which can’t be done if one eats burgers and drinks bourbon every day between now and race day.

So I shredded up a big cabbage for lunches again this week. I am working half days Monday and Wednesday as my big PTA gig is this week – I am the organizer of the “conference dinners,” the nights of parent-teacher conferences where I have to feed 50 people on a wing and a prayer, a lot of donations and hopefully some good luck. The book fair is also Monday and Wednesday. Like a good little poor person, I went through the flyers with my son and we’ve selected all the books he wants to read, which I will request from the library. The timing is hard to figure out. I seem to get the books on weeks when I don’t have him, and then they sit unread, waiting for him to come back, like me, and are suddenly due before we’ve gone through them. The whole timing thing is weird and I don’t have it right yet. I still ended up throwing food out today that I cooked more than a week ago, and I can’t really afford that. I think I’m eating a lot less than I used to (except yesterday at the B-spot, ha) and I need to scale it down. I feel guilty when I eat, I feel guilty going to the store, I feel guilty throwing food away. Basically I feel guilty most of the time, and it’s lousy.

Halloween being a new year for people like me, I took time to remember those who have passed who are near to me, and wrote down some things I want to let go of in the coming year. Wheel turns, year progresses. I’m sure ready to let this one go.

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