I search for a place to unthaw

D’s birthday yesterday was a fun and exhausting day. I slept terribly the night before, but decided to push ahead with my plans to take him to Put-in-Bay for a day of fun.

It’s not the place most people think would be great for families, but I know a lot of the nooks and crannies of the island now that I’ve been going there regularly for a few summers. There’s a cool butterfly house, a great little candy shop, and other things to see and do that are not the inside of a plastic beer cup.

I was so tired all day, the whole trip was almost like being in a fugue state. It was a much more beautiful day than I originally thought it would be, and ended up being great for the trip. The ferry was unusually smooth, the lake looked like glass and there were so many people going over we had to wait for three different ships before there was one we could actually get on board. The candy shop did not disappoint, and was our first stop. I let D pick out an inordinate amount of candy and eat almost as much as he wanted, though I did space it out throughout the day. Hey, you only turn 6 once.

He was also exhausted and a little touchy, so I kept waiting for him to have a giant meltdown, but he really did ok. He played a lot in their cool playground, and we also got a tour of the island via fire station since a friend of mine is the chief up there. At lunch, D was thrilled to find that there was mac and cheese on the kid’s menu, as if this was the perfect birthday meal for him. I had some whiskey, which improved my disposition somewhat, and though by the time we got to Perry’s Monument, it was closed, we managed to get to the ice cream shop just after they had closed, and the owner saw us and let us in. I had promised him whatever ice cream he wanted as the capper to the birthday so I was really grateful that the guy opened back up.

I’m physically and emotionally exhausted. I was freezing for most of the day yesterday when I wasn’t in the direct sunlight. I’ve been sick for the better part of two weeks and this month has overall taken quite a toll on me. Need to push through to his birthday party, which is next Saturday – I wanted to have it then since I was afraid people might not come if we had it on the holiday weekend. June should be calmer, better, and warmer. And more centered.

D was tired enough to need carried there at the end of the trip, and I’m amazed I can still carry him any long distance at all, now that he’s just about 40 pounds. Still a little, little boy though a bigger boy than ever in so many ways. He fell asleep almost immediately on the ride home. As I looked out over the glassy water and dreamed about a cottage on the edge where the sunset would lap up at the banks and warm my windows, I came home to my tiny, crappy apartment, laid my boy down in his bed and tucked him in saying, “Good night, big 6 year old.”

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