Goodbye, Summer

I have successfully set up my Tivo for wireless access and no longer need the ugly ethernet cable snaking across the apartment. This was not easy, and required two very long calls to Tivo customer service, because the cable company doesn’t know anything about how Tivo works. But I do, and the advantages it offers continue to be worth the headaches and work-arounds I have to go through to use it … for now. But this is a plus, getting rid of the physical cable.

That being said, I cannot log in to my Starbucks account. I entered the wrong password too many times and they still haven’t re-set it. It was supposed to be reset yesterday. But you know how these things go. And today’s a holiday, so nobody’s laboring about my log in problems, I expect.

My new Target Red credit card was rejected at the store, which is embarrassing. Because I sent them a hefty payment, to the correct address and correct account number, but they don’t show a payment received. Sleuthing this out required a half hour on the phone with Target then a half hour on the phone with the bank. My bank has to fax them proof of payment. Fax. Because this is 1988, apparently. And where will my next payment go? I may roll up to Target for the next payment like a petulant grandmother taking bags of rolled pennies out of a paisley embroidered carpetbag for my next payment, and require a receipt averring that I really did make a payment that was really applied to my account.

My phone cannot take any more pictures. It has too many pictures. But the pictures are not on the phone, they are on the cloud. I can turn off the cloud, and then I can take pictures. But they won’t be backed up anywhere, and so could be lost forever if I don’t do something with them, like upload them to an online photo account. i’ve tried to link two different online photo accounts to my phone; neither work properly. So the pictures sit there. Apple told me I need a phone with more memory. I see no need to be able to constantly access 600 pictures I’ve taken. But I would like them backed up. Maybe I need to find MORE TIME to plug the thing in and manually back it up every week. But that probably doesn’t include pictures. I bet that’s a special package you have to buy extra. Or a new app to download. Can’t download any more apps; out of room on the phone.

When modern conveniences work, they can be wonderful. But there are so many now, and the processes to use them increasingly complicated, that you start to feel defeated almost before you start. I had to study the manual for my coffee maker like I was preparing for a test. It was like decoding a map of hieroglyphics. Press this one twice and then it beeps and then press this other one. Press the other symbol three times to change the temperature of the heating element. Press this one once for 1-4 cups, twice for brew strength, then use the arrows … Jesus, I had a headache and really needed the coffee, with bourbon in it, by the time I was done.

Everything is confounding. Sometimes, as a single mother, I feel it’s all just too hard. I feel like some 50s housewife and think, goddamn I wish there was a man here to take care of some of this shit. It’s the very opposite of feminism and I don’t care. I just want someone else to do some of these dishes now and again, or to install this bike rack, which I don’t know what to do with. And I need something done about a backsplash now that the kitchen has been repainted, but I don’t know what or how. I don’t want to know. I don’t want to do it. I haven’t the tools or the measuring skills to rehang the height measuring thing on the back of my son’s door. All these things I have to ask as favors from people, who have little free time as well. The oil cruet broke and olive oil went behind and under the fridge. I had to wrestle the beast away from the wall and God what a mess. I’ve been to two stores and can’t find a replacement cruet. Everything is hard. Everything takes an hour or several trips or calls.

I know these are “first world problems,” that there are many ills in the world. I should not complain. But my back really hurts all the time and my leg is still so fucked up, and I wonder if I’m ever going to be able to run or walk without a ton of pain. Thinking about traipsing through the sea of lumber and confusion in a place like Lowe’s just does not sound like a good time to me. I get the vapors in a store like that. I’ve lived in apartments my whole life, save my time in the big, pink stucco prison in West LA in the late 90s. You get used to calling the super to have them fix things. I have never mowed a lawn or painted anything or bought a major appliance. I haven’t shoveled a walk since I was in high school. I do own a snow shovel, as I had to shovel my car out of its carport a couple of times. I leave pretty early for work and sometimes they haven’t plowed.

I also answered a query for writers, composed a thoughtful cover letter and sent samples. After a week, they finally got back to me and said they’d love to have me write for them, and there is no compensation. And lo, unto Felicia did the Lord say, fare thee well.

What I would really like are some blackened fish tacos and a pina colada. Maybe some chips and guac. And the rest of Season 7 of Mad Men to be on Netflix; I think I have mad men blue balls, the anticipation and frustration is so high. I am 65th in line for the DVDs from the library.

I have to sew up a hole in my son’s shorts, and a hole in a dress of mine, and try to sew something over the wire that’s poking out of my corset, as I have to wear it all week for rehearsal and then performance Saturday. I tried sewing the material together where wire poked through on a sports bra of mine, a very nice, expensive one, but it poked back through on the next run. I know very damned little about sewing. I don’t know how to fix it.

But I got a lot of sun, a LOT, for the end of summer, and am halfway through a book. And I got my hair cut. I didn’t have her dry or style it, so it was really affordable and she does a great job. And rehearsal almost every night this week, for a performance Saturday, which should be very fun. Those are good things.


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