With the little, strange missteps of late, I’m working harder to be patient, see them through, and to turn them into a positive, even when there is a challenge.
I had my car in the shop yesterday for the (other) new headlight, and they said a belt was really worn and should have been replaced several thousand miles ago, so I went ahead and let them do that. But I also got them to drop the labor charge on the headlight, and remembered to show my AAA card this time, so all in all, it wasn’t nearly as expensive a visit as it could have been. So that’s a positive.
My son had to sit in the hall yesterday while the other kids went to recess. He pulled someone’s hair. This is obviously not cool, but I decided not to pick him up angry about it, and be open to listening. He’s always super busy with his friends and whatever they are playing when I pick him up at aftercare, and is almost always annoyed to see me because he has to stop playing blocks or cars or, more often than not, video games. But yesterday when he saw me, he actually smiled, and I was glad I wasn’t approaching with anger. We went out in the hall and I calmly and quietly asked him to explain from his point of view what had happened. He’s in close quarters to a friend when it’s time to go to lockers, and the kid is always in his way and won’t move even when D asks. So they argue about space and yesterday D got mad and pulled his hair. The kid tattled on him, rightfully so, and so he had to sit in the hallway at recess with a couple of other kids who had acted up. I asked if he knew what he should have done instead to handle it and he said no. So I proposed telling the teacher and letting her handle it and he said he’s told her but she doesn’t do anything to make him move. Then, I said, it’s up to you how you deal with it. He won’t be at the locker forever. You can stand a ways off and calmly wait until he is done, and then move in. I pointed out that when he gets older, he may have to share an actual locker with someone, not just be beside someone else, and that he has to learn to take turns when the space is small like that. And if he lets the other kid go first often enough, hopefully the kid will one day say ok, here, you go first today. But that even if that never happens, the answer is never to do something mean that you know will get you in trouble. I said it was no big deal, we all have bad days, and that I had to take away a privilege but I wasn’t mad. He told me he loved me and we went on to have a pretty good night, all things considered.
This morning, the early sunrise was breathtaking. One thing I will say for the freakishly warm fall/early winter temps we have been enjoying here for weeks in Cleveland is that it’s led to some really amazing skies for sunrise and sunset, way different than the ones we get in the summer. More character, more meaning. As we rushed to school and rushed to get out of the car I stopped with D and knelt down and we looked at the sunrise together, and I told him how glad I was to be able to share that beautiful moment with him of us seeing that sunrise together, and how glad I am he is my son, every day. I hope this means he will have a good day because they have a field trip today and last time, he really acted like garbage and got into a ton of trouble. Fingers crossed.
I got to work and discovered the bag of ground coffee I’d brought to work had upended and spilled all over everything in my canvas bag, which holds all my workout clothes I tote back and forth to work in case I miraculously have time and energy to work out at lunch. It was a horrible mess and I’m completely out of coffee at work so that sucked. I decided to just ignore it, deal with the bag later, and I got back in my car and went to Starbucks and treated myself to a peppermint mocha. I only have like one of these a year and I always forget how good they are. I was fully indulgent, getting the full fat version with whipped cream, and man did it feel like a luxury.
I’m full of hope for 2016 and am formulating plans, dreams, resolutions and goals. It’s exciting, all the possibilities. I want to see friends more often, travel more, workout more, write VOLUMES more than what I’ve been writing, and I’m ramping up on that as well, published my second article on LinkedIn yesterday.
(photo credit: Bob Simon)