This little birdy knows spring is just around the corner, even if the calendar still says February (well, today). I saw him out on a walk this past weekend that was chillier than it was forecast to be, and yet much, much warmer than it usually is this time of year.
It was very, very warm yesterday. Like, the plastic came off the patio windows and I’m just going to leave it off warm. My son and I went outside on our little patio. I read him some of a book his whole school is reading at once, and then he played in the patch of dirt next to the patio where he likes to play with his little action figures and such. Which now had an empty cigarette pack and several butts, so I had to clean over there before he could play. I’m really getting to loathe smokers who have a complete disregard for everyone else, and yeah, I used to be one so I know what it feels like. It’s gotten so I will cross the street rather than walk directly behind one because I don’t want to get to wherever I am going and have my clothes reek of smoke like theirs do. I really hope to dissuade my son from going down that path. It is, as they say, truly a hard habit to break. And then there’s all the harder stuff, which many more younger people seem to be trying, having no sense of their own mortality and the grip drugs can have on you even after a single use. So much worry all the time, raising this kid, and I just have the one to look after.
It’s going to be a horribly busy week. The dinners I plan as part of my PTA duties, the nights of parent-teacher conferences so the teachers and staff have something to eat those nights, are tonight and Wednesday. I have my son this week so I have to shuttle him to and from school to the babysitter so he can get to bed at a reasonable hour. It’s boring for him to just sit around in the school lunchroom for hours and the cleanup goes way late, so I had to get the sitter. So I’m not only volunteering my time and efforts to set up, work, and clean up the dinners, but I have to pay for a sitter as well.
I’ve cut down a lot on booking the sitter as it’s just an expense I don’t have, to pay her AND go out on top of it. So generally now I’m declining invitations to do things unless they fall on my off week. Which means a lot less socialization, and that sort of sucks, but yeah, first world problems and all that.
My initial drive at the beginning of 2016 to push for change has changed into a whiny sort of ennui about the general state of my life, as efforts to make change happen have not been successful on really ANY front. I’m sure once warmer weather really arrives, I will feel driven again. To do something. Yes.