Walked A Mile Just To Find The Edge

sandy feet

Last week I lost my mind.

Lucky for me, I have an amazing support network, and they saved me.

You know how you’re supposed to have this enormous amount of money in savings so that you can deal with an unexpected emergency, but pretty much almost nobody in America does? I don’t have that either.

But I am rich. Rich with friends, with support. With offers of help when it is desperately needed. Friends who call and check on you, and mean it. Friends who will listen to you cry and rant. Friends near and far who promise you will get through this, change is for the better, you are not a bad person, and other kind words. Friends who send you resources and ideas, pretty pillows and bourbon.

I’m generally a fairly stable person, I like to think. When I have, on occasion, lost my mind temporarily, it’s been for damned good reasons, and I know I am fortunate that these episodes are so few in my life they can be counted on with one hand. I am also fortunate to have such an amazing network of people who genuinely care about me, and I know it.

The crisis, for now, has passed and become manageable for me in the short-term. Like when I was on food stamps, and I used the system without shame when I really needed it, and then gradually weaned myself off of it through changes to my life which made things better for me. That’s just what I’m going to do here, as well.

But I’ll never wean myself off my friends. I couldn’t bear to, for I will always need them, and want to be there when they need me, too.

The beach helps put things in perspective. The friends keep me from drowning.

And so we continue with this complicated, complex, challenging and interesting 2016.


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