It was a lovely weekend, and much-needed.
I had free passes to Wildwater Kingdom and took the boy yesterday. God, we had such a great time. Such a simple thing, and I was so grateful for those passes. We ate junk food, and too much of it, I let him have all the pop he wanted, and I had a pina colada, and we spent all day in the water and sun. The tidal wave pool was a favorite. A place for him to test his independence and bravery and yet cling to Mom when things got too scary. Watching him do simple shit like put a lounge chair over one of the fountains at the edge and laugh at how it sprayed him everywhere did my soul enormous good. The park also employs some disabled or challenged people which gave me an opportunity to take him aside and explain why it’s great and how it’s important to just be more patient with people who move a little slower than we do, and they are working hard to do their best. I slathered us both with sunscreen as often as I could but we both got slightly burned. I’m more paranoid about that now with my lip the way it is. My follow-up with dermatology is Friday. Two different cream treatments have not made the actinic cheilitis go away so I am going to have to have it removed in some fashion. Should make me super pretty for a few weeks with big, scabby lips. I am only interested in them removing it before it progresses further to actual cancer, not my vanity.
It was a very, very long day but my only costs were the gas, food and beverage, so it was a real win. I loved seeing so many people having truly innocent fun. I know our water waste in this country is enormous and was mindful of us having so much water here that we have a whole park like this (among others). I am thankful for what we have. I am mindful of those who do not have.
The kid and I have been watching the Olympics. I let him stay up way too late the last two nights to watch it. It’s summer and we are making memories. Fuck it. I don’t know if his Dad will have him watch it over there. I hope so, but it is not in my control. I did my part. I taught him to do a proper somersault on the yoga mat. I should not do those anymore.
Today I had a lovely brunch with a friend at one of my favorite places in Cleveland. Came home, wrote an overdue piece for work that required my attention this weekend, and then went out for a very long walk to clear my mind, soul and body. I meditated on the hilltop where I catch the sunset. It’s supposed to rain starting Tuesday or Wednesday for like a week solid, and I know we need the rain, so I wanted to take in this sunset fully since I’m not sure when I’ll see one again.
I’m working on me, and spending time with people who like me and want to be with me. I am working on being a better friend to people, checking in on those who are struggling with problems much bigger or tougher than my own.
I had to send the hearing aids back for reprogramming and a new wire to accommodate me being a glasses-wearer. I now know the difference they were making, having been without them for a couple of days. I was reluctant to let them go, which means something. The power and strength and love of my friends (and even that of strangers) enabled me getting these, and I am dedicated to figuring out how to make them work best for me so I can be the best me that I can be.
My son deserves it. Even if there is no one else in my life and I am nothing but a remote friend to those who need it, that is enough.
The kid slept in my bed every night this week. He hasn’t slept in my bed except on rare occasions in at least three years. It’s like he knew I needed him. He is such a sweet little thing and so innocent. I just want to raise him to be a good and decent man. Kind to others and good to the people in his life. I made him do his chores under great protest, and thanked him when he finished. I will build character in that kid if it kills me. We need more good men in America, and I intend to raise one.