Then I Just Smile

Even the roughest times don’t last forever and I’m grateful to be turning a corner on that. Things haven’t appreciably changed in my personal circumstances, but my mindset has, and that drives me forward.

I’ve been working on making me a better me, which is WORK, let me tell you. Living hard is hard work, but it’s work I enjoy. I’m meeting friends, old and new, going out, staying in, working out, finding the balance that works for me. I’m getting on top of a crushing work load at my still-tenuous job. As long as they keep paying me, I’ll keep showing up and that’s all I know from day to day, so that’s what I work with.

I’m cleaning out and getting ready for fall. Time to get rid of the too-small clothes for the kid. He’s not much for back to school shopping and I am lucky to have plenty of clothes for him, at least until the next growth spurt, but I did buy him a couple of brand new t-shirts and his auntie is buying him some radical socks as he is becoming a cool sock dude. I got him a pair of new shoes as well since he goes through those with lightning speed.

I’ve been working some side jobs for extra money and am trying to sock every cent into savings so I’m not caught with my pants down when the rug comes out from under me. I really want to use it to pay debt but I need SOME kind of savings so I’m just clenching my teeth and putting it away. I’m working as a server at a wedding for a chef friend this weekend and hope to pick up as many more gigs doing that as my schedule and body allow. I’m lucky to have friends who think of me when opportunities like this arise. People shoot me messages about work from home opportunities or side jobs. They know I struggle and are showing they care.

I care too. Part of my “self” work is connecting with friends (and strangers) who need. The stuff I’m cleaning out will be donated. I’m getting some donations together for another friend who is adopting a little boy from overseas and needs clothing. I’m a trusted ear for advice and counsel, and a REALLY sympathetic ear if you want to go get a drink and talk about being mistreated. I want to provide good advice for my friends who need it and let them know I am there as well.

I have so loved this hot weather. I know it’s been crushingly miserable for many, but I will miss it when it goes. I am making plans to really, really enjoy the fall, which is my 2nd favorite season. Right now, it’s county fair season, so I’m making plans to hit up a few of them with the kid.

I also have a race coming up in a couple of weeks. I’m now mentally ok with the fact that I know I’m going to have to walk some of it. That’s ok. I just want to show up and do my best. I’ve tried a different way of lacing my shoes to try to remedy a bad problem I have on the left foot that’s caused a black toenail. I think my foot is shooting forward when I run and even though the toe box is roomy, it’s banging against the end of the shoe. This new lacing technique is supposed to prevent that. I unlaced and re-laced my two pairs of running shoes last night while watching the Olympics, the amazing summer thunderstorm raging only a couple of feet outside my patio. I had candles lit in case of a power outage and did some light stretching after a 5 mile interval training session.

It was awesome, in the real sense of the world.




One thought on “Then I Just Smile

  1. Good luck with the running shoes – I’ve had the whole toenail thing happen after doing a long distance walk with walking boots – took months for the damaged nail to grow back out.

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