One Need In The Night

It’s ironic to get to a point where most of your physical injuries are either better or under control enough that you can finally tackle a really difficult race…and you come down with a bad cold/virus right before said race.

I’ve had a sore throat coming last couple of days, and today it’s full-blown. I got a lot of sleep last night and have slept/rested most of today, pushing lots of fluids and lazing in the sun, but tomorrow will be tough, to say the least. I don’t have anything lung-wise going on, and my tummy is bad but it’s always bad so that’s nothing new, so I’m going to go ahead and show up tomorrow afternoon, even if all I do is walk the course once. It’s a half-half (6.5 miles) and there is also a 5K. Instead of the 5K being a different route, the half-half peeps are supposed to run the course twice, which kind of stinks but what can you do.

No appetite to speak of today either. Tried to eat a wrap sandwich, couldn’t get through it. I am hoping for a quick and miraculous recovery by morning. It’s going to be 90 and sunny so yeah. But unless I develop a fever (well, higher than what I have now, which is one degree), I will try to get it done. I did go to urgent care to make sure it wasn’t strep, and that my ear hurting is not an infection and they gave me an all-clear. I’ll try to eat some eggs and rice tonight.

The last week has been very mentally overwhelming and I think my body took the stress and just kind of gave up on itself. Very stressful week at work, also stressful events personally, just a lot to deal with. A lot of highs and lows. But the only way forward is through, present, honest and with my eyes open, so that’s how I’m moving.

Sometimes people come back into your life for a reason, and sometimes they reappear like a shooting star, burning bright for a minute and then they’re gone. It’s hard to know, when you are right up against the light, which it is. Time and distance will give me those answers. And so I wait, doing the work, slogging through.

The boy comes in the morning. He has a double ear infection, but hopefully after 24 hours on meds will be feeling a little better and be a little easier to take care of this week than a couple weeks ago. Knowing how little energy I’ll have with being sick and the race and everything, I bought a lot of easy, cheater foods for the week and I just can’t care too much about that. You do what you have to in order to get through. He will not die eating smoked sausage and microwaved vegetables.

I have a doc appointment monday morning for a troubling health thing that’s been nagging at me. I had a breast cancer scare last year and while all was eventually fine, I’m having trouble with the same breast again. I hope everything is ok. The shit that makes you lie awake at night worrying, man.

I went out to walk to the office to put money on the laundry card so I could do laundry tonight. Some clouds blew in big time, and the temp dropped about 15 degrees and all of a sudden I could see the wall of Fall coming. And found I was excited about the thought of staying in, burning candles, watching movies, cooking stews and soups and roasts. I will be ready. I’ve gotten the good out of summer.


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