It’s been really hot in my kid’s school, one of many without air conditioning and another week of 90-plus-degree temps. I called him last night at his Dad’s to find out how his week is going and if he’s doing ok in the heat. “Mom,” he said, “Why don’t you stop calling me and GIVE ME SOME SPACE.”
This is hard to hear from your seven-year-old. But ok.
I have to have faith that one day when his growing is done he will be thankful I was engaged. Until then, I just do what I think is right, because that’s the best I can do.
This morning the dawn was breathtaking. I was literally stopped in my tracks as I left home. I left a few minutes early, intending to return an overdue library book and movie, but instead had to take some pictures, which delayed me, but made me happy. Sometimes I really need a happy start to a day, an optimistic start, filled with hope. Today was such a day, and I was grateful for the beauty and the quiet light. Soon, it will be dark no matter how early I rise, and dark when I go home, so I am enjoying the transition, every minute of it I get to see.
Today at work for the first time in months, the backlight on my keyboard came on, because it was so dark from the rainstorm above (I work under a large, draped skylight). And I thought, “Here we go.” Signs of fall are everywhere, including my crabby kid who is tired from being in the hot building all day and who doesn’t want to talk to his nag of a mother.
Nag Mom went to the PTA meeting tonight anyway, where a member of the school board gave a presentation about the upcoming bond levy, how needed the funds are (for things like air-conditioning, but also much-needed improvements to building security, technology updates, and other needs). Our PTA is very large and even though the meeting wasn’t packed full, the guy had his feet to the fire and had to answer a lot of questions from parents who have their kids in all different buildings in the district, not just our elementary. I thought he answered the questions well. We were all dripping with sweat the whole time and we were only there for two hours. At night, after sundown. I imagined how hot it was for my son, upstairs, in the daytime, trying to learn math and spelling and science.
His teacher was there as well, and she wasn’t even the designated teacher representative to the PTA this month. Another teacher was as well. These people are so dedicated to our children, it makes me appreciate them even more.
This is a new phase, coming with fall. I don’t know what all it will bring, but I am observing the changes, taking it all in, trying to roll along with the change and let me move through it, instead of against it.
This is the first year I haven’t participated in Pandemonium, Cleveland Public Theater’s annual benefit, for several years. I love doing it, but I just wasn’t asked enough in advance; I got tickets to a free concert this Saturday. I was asked, but the plans were already in place, and so I knew this is what I should do. This is new as well, me saying no, so I can do something else that feels important. I get to decide what’s important for me and the path my life goes on, and how I go down that path.
Breathing deep, and feeling the sky.