After the dinner dishes were done, and I finished my mat workout, and a shower, my kid asked me if I wanted to snuggle on the couch and watch the America’s Funniest Home Videos DVD I checked out from the library for him. I dropped everything else I had to do and said yes. It’s so rare he wants to cuddle in any way, and over the past week or so, he’s been asking more, so I am looking for yes instead of the ever-present “no” answer to everything he asks for in that seemingly endless stream of asking that little kids have. I was exhausted New Year’s Day, not because I was out partying the night before but because I was sick the whole week prior and it tires a person out, being sick repeatedly with only a couple of weeks off in between, which was pretty much my whole second half of 2016. So I told him I was going to lay down for about 20 minutes and he came in once I was settled and asked to nap with me. This is a departure from his “naps are stupid” party line, so I said yes. He came in a couple nights ago at like 4am and asked if he could crawl in bed with me as he had a nightmare and I said yes. And yes to snuggling last night.
Maybe it’s winter. Maybe it’s all the back and forth he had to undergo during the holiday season. School, daycare, his Dad’s place, their relatives, my place, my relatives. Poor little guy is looking for an anchor so I will make sure he has one.
Tonight I have PTA and he’ll play and hang out while the Moms sit around talking about how much budget is left for various school events the remainder of the year, and how we can raise money for said events. Back to normal schedule, back to homework.
Thus far, the impact of having downgraded the cable to just the network channels hasn’t been too bad. I order DVDs online from the library and keep a steady stream of them ready so he can have something to watch since the Cartoon Network is gone now. I did download the app and he can watch it on the computer, but so far we haven’t had to do that, he’s busy playing with stuff he got for Christmas or watching the DVDs I check out. But it’s another “At my Dad’s, (he has all the channels)” comparison reminding me of my shortcomings. The comparisons are inevitable. I just have to do the best I can with what I have, and believe one day he will think I did a good job.
This year, I’m focusing more on what’s important to me, which of course includes the kid. Next week when he’s with his Dad is my first “me” week of the year, and there is much to do.
Head down, moving forward.